Last weekend I added 102 more miles to my training bank by completing the Grizzly Peak Century! It was hot, the hills were mighty and the miles were long but I felt very accomplished when I rolled back into Campolindo High School. It was a long day on the bike. The heat added to my discomfort, which brought nausea, hot foot issues and cramping...it slowed my pace but didn't dampen my spirit to get it done.
The experience made me question and assess my training. Was it the heat? Was it riding my first century in 6 months or both that made it such a tough day? My gut is telling me that I could have put in more training time. Then again, I say that to myself every season. This time I know its accurate. I want to train more but when? My life is a complex juggling act this year.
The balance of trying to fit it all in...working full time, an unpredictable commute, fundraising, cycling, my horse...blah, blah, blah. I know my situation isn't unique. I've become a ghost to my friends and family. My horse barely sees me and my cat gets momentary attention during my comings and goings. My social interactions consists of seeing my team on Saturday's, my work mates at the office and strangers on the train. Its what I need to do for now.
The trainings are getting longer and more intense, and I'm finding I'm sleeping less instead of more. It tough to fit everything into a week. This has turned me into a bit of a zombie. I'm not mad, sad or grumpy...just exhausted and trying to stay present through each day. I'm finding tiredness becomes idiocy. At times its been very entertaining for my co-workers.
My worry is the intensity of the next 6 weeks. Work and cycle training are both gearing up at the same time! It going to take all my focus and my best time management skills to get me though it. I don't want to let my co-workers, teammates or myself down in the process. To make it all work I'm playing with a delicate house of cards right now. Fingers crossed...that my body, mind and spirit stay healthy and balanced.
I find my time on the bike is like therapy. Somehow out on the roads I can relax and everything makes sense. Every time I clip in, my friends, teammates and the beautiful Northern California scenery keep it a fun adventure. I'm letting go of any ego in regards to my cycling skills. I do "Know Why" I'm doing this...its for myself and for helping to find a cure. This difficult process has a finish line for me. I'm hoping my sacrifices and efforts have a positive outcome for those with cancer.
As I look ahead, I just need to take it one week, one day and one hill at a time. Be patient with me as I try my best to make it all balance.
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