It hit me this week when another cyclist commented that he was riding Death Ride in 3 weeks. Its surprising that this training season has went by so quickly! The realization we were so close to it is a bit unsettling...am I really ready?
Last week was Altitude Camp, where we all got a taste of what's to come for the event. A tough eye opening weekend for all. For me, the toughest part was a medication mix-up on Saturday morning that has thrown me off for the last week. When I realized it part way up Ebbett's it pissed me off...I felt like a dumb-ass! It also made me feel very raw & vulnerable to have to share something with my team that was very personal. The embarrassment fueled me to not give up on missing the training rides or show my weakened state to them. To my surprise, I made it through and went back and rode both Ebbett's & then Carson the next day!
This week the torture was intensified with John Steven's buddy ride that was beyond brutal for the entire team. I wasn't sure metabolically my body had stabilized enough to join the ride until Friday and it was still going to be a gamble. The route was 100 miles and 11,000 feet of climbing...my biggest challenge of the season so far!
The first group headed out and and we quickly spread out leaving me in the middle riding alone. This season my regular pace hasn't really fit with anyone on this team. It sounds strange to most but my bike, "Willie" has been my consistent buddy on a lot of the rides...and, yes I talk to him since at times there is no one else but us for 50 - 100 miles. Its not ideal but its just how it is on non-team rides. The actual team rides I alter my ride to stay with and support my ride group.
Yesterday my plans changed when I lost my map mid-ride and needed to alter my plans. I believe things happen for a reason and yesterday I needed to be with my ride group. It reminded me why I was pulled onto this team as ride support, we are a team and we all struggle at different points. As my body was screaming for mercy on Zayante, it took me out of myself to be there for my teammates.
We all dug deep to get through this ride! For the first time at the top of Zayante (about mile 70) I was trying to figure out if I could keep riding as my nausea intensified or if I would need to stop to expel what was torturing me. I was also fighting between chills and sweating as my exhausted body was also fighting the changing weather conditions later in the ride. Of course the late in the day chamois issues were there to add to the fun! I've learned endurance cycling is about constantly making choices and riding through discomfort.
I was reminded this week to not give up on myself and it was an important tool I used throughout this ride. Many times I wasn't sure if I had what it took to get through the ride. I just took it one section at a time and self-talked myself through it. Getting back to Page Mill took forever! You know you've hit exhaustion when you wonder if I have the strength and focus to handle the screaming descent back down to the bottom. Willie was ready roll!
I was never so glad to see my truck. However, the happiness and relief was short lived as my ride group rolled in and we all realized one of our group was missing...crap! We all saw her at the top of the decent? Where could she be? Search & rescue went into full effect! We were reminded of how powerful stress and adrenaline can be when you didn't think you had anything left in the tank! Fortunately, I rolled back to the Park n Ride just as she found her way back and rolled up wondering where everyone was...haha! I don't think she realized how long she was lost. I was so impressed with her positive attitude..."go team"! We made our needed calls to end the mission. I was so thankful & revealed she was okay.
I finally rolled home at 9:30 after re-routing through SF for teammate drop-off. Dinner consisted of drive through food at 9:00, since my body was done sustaining on bike food (gels & water) and the half sandwich in Davenport. It was a 16 hour day door to door and my shower & bed never felt so good. The best part...I DID IT!
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