Monday, July 16, 2012

Four


That appears to be the magic number for me at Death Ride. Yes, I rode 4 passes for the second year in a row. Which bring to a place of questioning and processing?

Have I been chasing an unattainable goal…for me? Slow doesn’t get you up the fifth pass. All my will and determination means nothing to a time cut off.


The natural response would be to go after it again. However, I knew going into this season it would be a bigger challenge with my new work schedule and exceeding limited time. I couldn’t train to the level I was accustomed to in my past DR season. And it was apparent…I didn’t feel as physically strong as I did last year. However, mentally this season I hit a new “don’t quit” attitude in spite of my body wanting to at times. All I saw was 5, from my first pedal stroke.

This was my most stressful TNT training season ever. I felt the entire time; I was failing in all areas of my life to attain this uncertain goal. Wanting redemption for a previous failed attempt based on a split second decision that I will never regret. I knew I had it last year the truly thought it was mine this year. I truly never doubted it until I hit the top of the 4th pass and realized the time.

What happened? Why didn’t I make it? Not completely sure since I rode alone (without teammates) 90% of the ride. So this is the basic overview.


I thought I was riding smart. Riding slow and steady, limiting my time at SAG and staying focused. I reached the top of the first pass with my teammate Vivek…feeling good and still at the head of my team. I left the back of Monitor with only a very brief water refill and photo op, still surprised to have not been passed up by teammates as I rolled up my second climb.


I stayed with the slow and consistent mind set. As I climbed up Monitor the heat began to set in a bit more. Near the top I began to see my teammates appear and zoom by me. I continued to stay within my own ride. I was also starting to feel my stomach churning and my water was getting low. The top became an unscheduled SAG stop for me.


By the time I was climbing Ebbett’s my legs were beginning to remind me that my training wasn’t as good as the pervious season. It was also now going from warm to hot. I had 2 more stops, 1 for more water and one at the lake for a photo and to check in with some teammates that were there.

In Hermit’s Valley (bottom of the fourth climb), I still wasn’t feeling great but wanted to keep moving and get to the top of the climb I most dread. I rode out with my Coach who had caught me by the SAG stop.

As I climbed in the heat of the day, my energy was quickly disappearing and with that my pace became a crawl. I encouraged my Coach to ride on. I stopped twice on the climb due to severe hot foot issues (I now wished I didn’t). I reached the top with my teammate Sam. We quickly discovered they were out of water and we had very little left.


This is when the reality of how much time I wasted on that climb set in…I needed to move and move quickly. I hit the Ebbett’s decent with as much speed as the turns and other riders would let me safely go. The lunch stop waived us off since they were almost out of water and a long line of people were waiting. I was secretly glad because I didn’t want to waste any precious time. My plan was to pedal alone as quickly as my legs could go until Turtle Rock and try to replenish as quick as possible to meet the time cut off.


Speedster Sam caught me on the flat before Markleeville and talked me down from my futile mission. He instilled the fact that if he couldn’t make it neither was I. He was also on a mission to get us water…he was low and I was out. He found some folks packing up that pulled some bottled water out of their motor home to fill our bottles. I can’t thank Sam enough for making me listen. That’s the beauty of being part of a team…we are there for each other.

As I continued to pedal past Markleeville and towards Turtle Rock it hit me…I really wasn’t going to finish the day with 5 stickers. I was feeling very low at this point, I had failed myself. No blame, no excuses, it just wasn’t my day. Just then another friendly voice appeared from behind…my teammate Brian. I was shocked he was behind me, but he wasn’t feeling well and it took him out of his normal pace.

We choose to ride together into Turtle Rock knowing our day was done. It was nice to have a friend to talk with and take me out of my head. There was no need for a pity party.

We rolled up to my truck a few minutes after 4:00. Since it was before the TNT tent, I let Brian roll on while I decompressed in my truck with the air conditioning on full. I was too tired to process much other than my day was done too soon.


In hindsight I think there were a few obvious factors to my time failure. My speed…I have none. Having G.I. issues most of the ride added a couple unscheduled stops. My fear of cramping caused me to overfill myself with water and electrolytes. I realized I barely ate because I was so bloated…hence the loss of speed and momentum on the fourth climb. Such a rookie mistake!

I have a bit of disappointment but no regrets. I rode 4 passes and my will continued to be strong in spite of my body. I was able to be at the finish line and cheer in every one of my teammates as they finished. I was part of an amazing team and had a successful training season. And most of all…as a team we made a difference. As a team we raised $120,000 towards finding a cure…amazing!


I don’t feel the need for redemption this time. I knew I gave everything I had in the moment. I have also known I’m not a naturally talented cyclist. So just being able to train and ride with these exceptional groups of people, for not one but two years was an honor.

I don’t know what my future will be with Death Ride. I know my journey will continue in cycling. However, I did learn something important this season…that I need to find some balance in other areas of my life. It’s time for me to enjoy a little more and suffer a little less.

Thank you to everyone who supported me though this 2012 Death Ride season!

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