Finding My Balance

Last weekend I added 102 more miles to my training bank by completing the Grizzly Peak Century! It was hot, the hills were mighty and the miles were long but I felt very accomplished when I rolled back into Campolindo High School. It was a long day on the bike. The heat added to my discomfort, which brought nausea, hot foot issues and cramping...it slowed my pace but didn't dampen my spirit to get it done.

The experience made me question and assess my training. Was it the heat? Was it riding my first century in 6 months or both that made it such a tough day? My gut is telling me that I could have put in more training time. Then again, I say that to myself every season. This time I know its accurate. I want to train more but when? My life is a complex juggling act this year.

The balance of trying to fit it all in...working full time, an unpredictable commute, fundraising, cycling, my horse...blah, blah, blah. I know my situation isn't unique. I've become a ghost to my friends and family. My horse barely sees me and my cat gets momentary attention during my comings and goings. My social interactions consists of seeing my team on Saturday's, my work mates at the office and strangers on the train. Its what I need to do for now.

The trainings are getting longer and more intense, and I'm finding I'm sleeping less instead of more. It tough to fit everything into a week. This has turned me into a bit of a zombie. I'm not mad, sad or grumpy...just exhausted and trying to stay present through each day. I'm finding tiredness becomes idiocy. At times its been very entertaining for my co-workers.

My worry is the intensity of the next 6 weeks. Work and cycle training are both gearing up at the same time! It going to take all my focus and my best time management skills to get me though it. I don't want to let my co-workers, teammates or myself down in the process. To make it all work I'm playing with a delicate house of cards right now. Fingers crossed...that my body, mind and spirit stay healthy and balanced.

I find my time on the bike is like therapy. Somehow out on the roads I can relax and everything makes sense. Every time I clip in, my friends, teammates and the beautiful Northern California scenery keep it a fun adventure. I'm letting go of any ego in regards to my cycling skills. I do "Know Why" I'm doing this...its for myself and for helping to find a cure. This difficult process has a finish line for me. I'm hoping my sacrifices and efforts have a positive outcome for those with cancer.

As I look ahead, I just need to take it one week, one day and one hill at a time. Be patient with me as I try my best to make it all balance.

Training Bank

The second half of our training season is here! The team is at the point where all our training efforts will be put the test (and in some cases, exposed) as we begin the series of triple digit distance rides. Beginning tomorrow with the Grizzly Peak Century (GPC), on the training calender as our team ride. An event that is not for the faint of heart...not as much the distance as for the climbing. Without the level of training I'm doing as part of the Death Ride Team, I wouldn't attempt this ride on my own.

GPC is a great opportunity to motivate and ride for myself. Having a role on my team as ride support makes it tough to monitor where I'm really at in my training. Most weeks are spent being there for everyone else but myself. I enjoy this event because it allows me to work on my time management and assessing where my training or lack of has me this season. This has been my most challenging season to train. I have a schedule that leaves me very little time and energy to get in the type of training that I have been used to in past seasons. In spite of doing well at the team ride thus far, I do worry that I'm doing enough to finish the season strong.

Past seasons I would hit the road during the week. This season I hit the trainer and DVDs, riding "B", my first bike...a vintage steel Bianchi that got me through my first 2 cycling seasons. I sweat and spin as many evenings as my schedule will allow. But is it enough? I also try to fit in some strength training and yoga...but most weeks that isn't happening. The balance of life to training ratio is a tricky one. In spite of my inner turmoil over my training regiment, I have been feeling strong on the road with the team. What I have in my training bank will tell the story tomorrow at GPC. For today, I hydrate, fuel up, stretch it out, rest and prepare for tomorrow's challenge!

Pescadero Soak-Fest Ride

This photos shows how my morning began...dark and damp. Mentally, I keep telling myself that it would lessen once I got down to the peninsula. It did...temporarily. It lighten enough to coax me out of my warm vehicle and into my rain gear. Part of the draw was, this was a great ride that I enjoyed last year. I also knew that we were riding to promised artichoke bread in Pescadero!



Unfortunately, the conditions diminished as we rode...sprinkles to showers to rain and at times...a down pour! Descending La Honda West felt like tacks hitting my face...that's when I could still feel my face;-) When we rolled into Pescadero we dripped into a small store for momentary reprieve from the elements. No artichoke bread;-( Had only enough time to take off my 2 layers of rain soaked gloves (not easy), hit the bathroom and layer back up for the grueling climb back to our vehicles. For me, no time left to get anymore into me other than 2 chips offered by a teammate...everyone was rolling or already gone.



As I was rolling up Alpine, I realized I didn't have a chance to fill my water bottles! I decided to ride into McDonald Park to refill, as I caught the last of my group rolling out of sight. Oh well, I'm getting used to riding alone and I knew the way back. At this point it was more important to be prepared for the endless climbs ahead.



As the rain began to increase, I distracted myself with fond memories of my past teams (in much better weather) as we experienced these climbs. To my surprise my head coach and some teammates were waiting at the bottom of the Alpine junction to make sure no one missed the turn off. It was a nice feeling to not be forgotten.

My biggest fear for the day was still ahead...descending Page Mill in these worsening conditions. As I was watching the small rivers of water streaming across the road increasing...I knew this was going to be a careful and well calculated descent.

It actually became a frightening experience since I was so wet and cold at that point that my left hand completely lost feeling and function-ability! I was terrified and alone. I lucked out and found a slight incline to stop with just my rear brake (not recommended!) For safety reason I knew I needed to get off and walk until I could get my hand warmed up and working again. This is too much of a technical descent to chance it. My first walk ever on DR training...and its on a descent...really!?! At this moment I was asking myself "am I of my league to be riding with this team"? I was not in a good place mentally...but still moving forward.



After about a 3/4 of a mile I finally felt 2 fingers (so I could brake) and get back got on Willie, to coast down the remainder of the descent. Slowest descent ever!!! I felt like a dork but I wasn't giving up and giving in...it was up to me to get myself through this ride. Once I was riding back through flats and rollers I realized I couldn't shift my big rig (left hand issues again) to gain any speed..."and get this damn thing done"! SO FRUSTRATED! I was clearly the caboose of this ride with 4 miles to go, when I heard a voice call out to me? I thought "who the hell is still out here"?!? One of my teammate was waiting at the junction to ride back with me...I was thrilled to have the company! It was exactly what I needed to diminish the pity party playing in my head.

Happily we rolled into a small and very cold group of teammates waiting to cheer us in...success! I survived the soak-fest (aka sufferfest)! My prize for this accomplishment...sick-fest!I woke up with a cold the next morning:-( It was well earned:-0

This ride now surpasses last year's Palomares buddy ride, as most miserable! High on the humbling scale for me...Mother Nature was not my friend today.

Another Death Ride season begins...

My team has already given me special parking and they hadn't even seen me ride yet! Anyway...after all the formalities of kickoff and clinics...it was time for the first official team ride! The same location and 46 mile route as least year. This was my very eventful maiden voyage ride of my new bike "Willie" last year. Thankfully we were luckier this year and were able to avoid the bike path, little girls with pink bikes and dare-devil/suicidal squirrels...phew!


When we rolled in the morning, I was thrilled to see some familiar faces from last year's Death Ride (DR) team that came out to ride with us! It was a fun blending of old and new friends. Other than a select few from last year, this team seems much faster overall. Let's just say my ride average better improve quickly! My ride group is not only quicker but fast & fearless downhill. I'm already finding they are dropping me on all the descents...and I thought I was going to need a motor installed for the climbs!



The ride began with light rain and some wind but ended up sunny and nice by the Honoree Potluck/BBQ. As the picture shows...the bike was desperately in need of some cleaning by the end of this ride.


Miller Creek Park was the perfect location to unwind after the ride and socialize with the team. It also gave us the opportunity to "Know Why" we are doing this...to cycle for a cure. We all got the opportunity to meet and learn about our team Honorees. What they shared will inspire and motivate us through this season. They are the rock stars of this team. I'm honored to know them and support them through my fundraising this season.


Ready or not training has officially begun! I will be climbing every hill I see for the next 5 months...so things can only up from here;-)

My Journey through 2011

What a difference a year makes. I had no expectations for 2011, but I did have a lot of hopes. It was a year that surpassed everyone of them! There were many surprises and luckily most of them were positive ones. Surpassing my cycling goals, new bike, new job and a new residence.


The year began with a small campaign by my past coaches and the team manager to get me on onto the Death Ride Team (a week before kickoff!). My friends were no help...they supported it (I obviously need to re-evaluate my friends)! So much so, that my bike shop offered to build me a bike for the event, and in record time. No one was going to let me out of this opportunity, so they won that battle. In hindsight...I'm glad they did.

I had never experienced that level of pain, discomfort and suffering while training for an event! At the same time, I had the most wonderful experience bonding, laughing and commiserating with my team. It was a fun group to go through that 6 month journey to the gates of hell (aka The Death Ride).



The process allowed me to achieve a fit level in cycling to also ride events I would have never considered before...the Grizzly Peak Century and the Shasta Century. I also would finally get to ride in the Napa area, by participating in the Napa Century. It was spectacular ride that I actually enjoyed after my insane training season!

This was also the year that I would experience my first bike accident. I was fortunate it was a minor incident and my bike didn't sustain any permanent damage. BTW...I don't recommend getting your body exfoliated by asphalt...road rash sucks! However, the plus side was that it redirected my focus! Taking several weeks to heal and get my bike repaired was a blessing in disguise. It gave me the time to assess my life, and mine was out of balance.

September and October, gave me the chance to secure a new position with LLS, find a new home, spend more time with my horse and compete in my first dressage show. Basically, I organized, focused and reclaimed the direction of my life again! Good or bad, I truly believe everything happens for a reason.


Just as I was settling into my new routine, Death Ride came a callin' again! Now, I know I've lost my mind, because I agreed?!? I obviously drank too much of the "Kaufman Kool-Aid" to want to do this for a second time! This time I know what to expect but training will be much tougher for me this season. Not only will I be fundraising for Team in Training but my work schedule leaves me very little time to train. I will need to learn some new methods (bike trainer in my living room) and better time management skills. I foresee sleep becoming a luxury this year;-)



I'm thankful to what was a fulfilling, fun and life altering 2011! Now onto to whatever 2012 has in store for me...I hope its all good things!

Wishing everyone a fun, safe and prosperous 2012!

Death Ride 2011

My day started at when the alarm went off at 2 in the morning. I had a roller-coaster of thoughts and emotions leading up to the event. Surprisingly none of them were fear or failure. I trusted the training and the program. I had no expectations other than I wouldn't quit and I would follow the instructions that my coaches gave me for the event day.

This was my biggest challenge in cycling to date. We rolled at 4 in the morning in pitch dark to tackle 5 passes that would encompass 129 miles and 15,000' of climbing. It was cooler than I expected as we headed out towards Monitor (our first pass). It was an eerie experience to ride unknown roads with only a dim bike light and shadows.

Riding in the dark is odd but climbing in it is *bizarre*. It messes with your mind. The flashing red tail lights from the cyclists ahead is the only gauge you have of what might be ahead. You know you are climbing because by now...you are already in your granny gear! You can't anticipate anything...you just keep pushing forward. At times it felt like I was riding on flat tires because of the percentage of grade I couldn't see.


Watching the sunrise come up while we rode Monitor was a spectacular sight...one of the highlights of the day! The first and second passes were tougher than I had been told or anticipated. However, the descents were amazing! Willie and I were in complete sycronicity...another memorable experience for me.



As we headed towards Ebbett's (our third pass), the weather began to warm up quickly. My legs were feeling worked but knowing I had ridden Ebbett's in the pass gave me the confidence to not second guess anything. With the heat increasing I was going through my water bottles quicker than I had planned...which caused me to make an additional water stop. On tired legs, the front side of Ebbett's was longer and steeper than I had remembered. My mental process was to be present and take one pass at a time.

I rolled up and over Ebbett's with my 3rd sticker earned! The SAG stop at the bottom was the first time I felt I needed a brief break to do more than fill my water bottles. I left out of there with my fourth sticker and part of my ride group. I was going the *speed of slow* up the 4th pass. This was the hottest part of the ride so far, with very little breeze or shade.



Everyone on our team was struggling with lows and illness...including myself. We were trained that this would be a possibility on event day. With determination and tenacity they impressed me as they pushed through it all and continued on with Carson in their sights. Quitting was not a choice any of us were going to make willingly. That's one of the benefits of being part of a team, is knowing we are all there to help and encourage...especially during the lows. I was thankful for everyone of the cheers and encouraging words that was shared throughout the day.

I reached the top of Ebbett's about 2:40...now way off my personal ride schedule. I knew it would be next to impossible to make the Woodford's time cut off. The descent off the front is technical and a bad cycling incident caused more of a delay in addition to traversing ambulances that were heading up the hill. Didn't get to the lunch stop at the bottom of the hill until 3:30...quitting still wasn't an option!


The cutoff time was 4:00 and in spite of pushing it through headwinds...that was the time that I hit downtown Markleeville. 6 miles short of making it...today was not my day to get that 5th sticker. I was disappointed but not upset for me. I knew I did everything I could and never gave up. It just wasn't my day for 5.


I had an amazing day and experience...no regrets! I made the decisions I needed to with the cards I was dealt for the day. Another highlight was being at the finish line to cheer in most of my team as they finish their amazing journey through 5 passes of the Death Ride. I'm so proud of them all...Go Team!

Next time...5 stickers!

Send-Off

We are at that time in the season where we celebrate our training and prepare for our event. Its a bittersweet process of coming to the end of the season. I've been on this journey with 34 other people for the past 5 months...I can't believe the time has went by SO QUICKLY! Now, we are at send-off...this is just the beginning to the end of a memorable season.

We were a melting pot of strangers, acquaintances and friends that has become one cohesive team. We all came to this challenge for different reasons, but with one goal in mind...The Death Ride.

I'm blessed to have gotten to know my teammates and myself better through our struggles and our successes this season. It has been a healing and learning place for many of us.


I was challenged and schooled this season in many ways! Here are a few of my learning highlights; I've become a more confident descender; my body can pedal a bike uphill (over 10,000' in one ride) for a long time; my bike & me are NOT heavier than the wind;I'm not getting any faster; to not give up on myself; I can ride 30 miles without food or water (not recommended) before my body quits; "no stinkin' thinkin"; I still don't like riding in the wind; pain is temporary; and it doesn't matter if your fast or last...just finish!

So I take these lessons and prepare for next weekend. The Death Ride is the accumulation of all we've invested into ourselves and the season...our celebration! It will be a once in a lifetime experience that will be remembered and treasured by all of us on this team.

However, after the tears and cheers comes the bitter part of the journey. With bikes loaded, bodies tired, and minds fatigued we all crawl in our cars and drive off. Over the next few days the reality sets in...our Death Ride adventure with our TNT family has ended (sad face here).

Our hearts will be full with the experience, our minds will be filled with fond memories and now our Saturday's have become unscheduled. It always strange going through the post-season adjustment phase. As I've discovered with every season some friendships will remain and others will drift away as life takes us all in different directions. But we will always have the 2011 Death Ride season!


I'm thankful to everyone on my team for being part of this amazing chapter with me. I've learned things from them and because of them. Many of the experiences, moments, conversations and the laughter have left a positive imprint that will remain...thank you all & Go Team!

So now onto the packing, organizing, planning, traveling and riding! Ready or not Death Ride...here we come! Are you ready for us?